After a round of vitals & pain meds at this hour, figured I might as well provide an update from the day.
Surgery for the cancer went really well. The doctors believe that the cancer hadn’t spread, not even to my lymph nodes. Scans in the coming weeks will confirm but incredibly encouraging. The surgery lasted three hours. Right before I went under I was telling everyone about my nickname being Beef. They couldn’t get over it. I always think it’s so funny watching people react to that as a nickname because it’s just so normal to me! But yeah, Beef is weird. 🙂 I’m told the first question I asked as I was coming out of the anesthesia was, “did the Cubs really win the World Series?!”
Time in recovery took much longer than anticipated. Before going under the general anesthesia for the surgery, I was given an epidural. The more and more I came too, the more it was clear that the epidural was only working on the right side of my body. The pain on the left side was really rough. They tried to tweak it a few times over a few hours and gave me IV pain meds to get me through but we eventually had to re-do the epidural. Thankfully, that worked almost immediately and my entire abdomen was finally numb. I will likely have the epidural in for the next day or two . My body has always struggled mightily with pains meds causing sickness, so this route has been huge as I haven’t gotten sick at all. I also got a behind-the-ear patch to help with the nausea. Medicine tricks these day!
I wasn’t allowed to eat or drink all day today. Hoping for at least liquids to start tomorrow! I think the meds have distracted my appetite but boy am I thirsty. The doctor is coming in at 6am tomorrow (well this morning I realize now), stay tuned for progress updates and next steps in our battle.
We have been blown away by the care of everyone at the hospital so far, especially our doctors & nurses. They have obviously taken such good care of me medically & our families as they waited. What we’ve most appreciated though is their support of our broken hearts from saying good bye to our baby. We have noticed that every nurse we have interacted with so far had taken the time to get to know our story before meeting us & as a result their empathy and care have helped to get us through an impossible first day.
Even though we had time to prepare for the loss of our baby, our hearts ache in a million ways. The grief is very real but we are doing our best to grieve with hope. Hope in the greater purpose that has to be. We want you all to know that story of our baby and when we are ready, we will share more here. For now, we are tackling this huge uphill mountain one hour at a time, hand in hand, knowing my & our lives were saved thanks to our little one.
We can’t thank you all enough for all the support today! The outpouring of love made everything a little bit easier for us and it will continue to carry us through the days and months ahead.
All our love & thanks,
Beef (and a sleeping Kevin, who thankfully got a bed of his own for this stay. Little things like that matter on a day like today!)