Merry Christmas!

Yawning as I start to type this, but it’s a well earned yawn. We had a heck of a Christmas hosting our families in our new home! I’ll start with all the good – pictures tell the story best, so here we go! 

We hosted both of our families for Christmas Eve – 15 humans! It was amazing having both families gathered at one table for dinner. You better believe I pulled an Aunt Bethany from Christmas Vacation and led our families with “grace,” aka the Pledge of Allegiance! Super funny. Don’t worry, we had a beautiful actual blessing too, thanks to Kevin’s Dad. Here’s an action shot:After the successful Conrad White Elephant last weekend, we decided to do it again with both families. It was so much fun again! And here’s a few more pics from the evening: 

Today we celebrated Christmas morning with a casserole feast before heading to Kev & Erica’s new home for Christmas dinner. We replicated our standard staircase photo in their home:And yes, we are laughing so hard because twice in a row I tripped UP the stairs while taking these photos. Can’t take me anywhere! 

Christmas has been about as abnormal as it could come this year with all that’s going on but we sure made the most of it. We have two incredible families willing to go the extra mile for us & Kevin and I loved every minute of having both our families together for Christmas Eve. Special things can truly happen even in the hardest of times. I wouldn’t trade anything about Christmas this year and I’d like to think Hallie had a heck of a first Christmas in Heaven, smiling down at all the fun we were able to have. 

This weekend has been bittersweet in terms of the cancer though. I tell ya, this beast knows no boundaries! Doesn’t cancer know Christmas is my jam, leave me alone?! Friday night I lost my first good chunk of hair in the shower. I sobbed. Like, really sobbed. God took care of me though, as this was before high tea with my Mama, Sheila, Mama Peyton & Erica. My tears were quickly replaced with laughter, memories & a good Christmas sing a long. Then last night on Christmas Eve while we were playing Catch Phrase after dinner, I scratched my head only to have another big chunk of hair come out. It fell on my pants and I had this moment where externally I was laughing at the game going on while fighting every urge internally to not start balling. God once again provided me an outlet in such a dark moment and it came in the form of watching my parents try to play catch phrase- it was comical! I started playing with my hair after that point though and it’d come out in chunks all too easily. I called my Mom over and she pulled it all away from me like the amazing Mama that she is. I woke up this morning to a pillow full of hair & had to stop blow drying my hair this afternoon because it was falling out so much. I cried again. I don’t know why it’s so hard but it is. It’s my last bit of normalcy. Once I lose my hair, I’m officially a cancer patient to the world. I will have to work extra hard to be Beef, not a cancer patient. I was so crushed, Christmas after all is my holiday! By then yet again, God delivered a great time at Kev & Erica’s for Christmas dinner. We spent the evening reliving childhood memories with the siblings, lots of laughter!! It was the perfect day. And I hoped and prayed to keep my hair through Christmas, so I’m thankful that happened. I will likely shave my head the first chance I can with chemo this week. I can’t explain the emotional toll every chunk takes on my heart. I don’t think I can or want to deal with this much longer. Best to do the thing that sucks, own it and move on. A shot at a cure sure as heck tops hair any day. Focus on that, Beef! 

I will take a moment to thank ALL of you for your support through all of this. As Kevin’s Dad prayed last night, he said a thanks for all the support we’ve gotten and my goodness is that the truth. I don’t know where we’d be without our families first & without all of you, our warriors. We are so thankful for every prayer, act of kindness, care package, text, call, etc. We hope you all had an amazing Christmas with your families!! 

As for this week, we thankfully have an off day tomorrow before chemo round #2 starts Tuesday. I’m nervous. I now know what to expect. I have a doctors appointment Tuesday morning before and I have a list of questions to ask to best prepare. The way I see it, it is 3 days of “ok” (Tuesday-Thursday) followed by 3ish really hard days (Friday-Sunday/Monday). Start praying now for no complications! Pray for smooth sailing considering. Pray for a calm heart, knowing that it’s going to be hard yes but we are halfway done after! And only 11 radiations to go.

For now though, spending our night counting the blessings we have as we close out Christmas 2016. We send all of our love & thanks for all that you have each done for us & all that you each mean to us. Merry Christmas!

All our love, 

Kevin & Bethany

5 thoughts on “Merry Christmas!

  1. Merry Christmas and very very healthy happy new year. Our hearts our with you guys. We’ve prayed and will be keeping you in our prayers . Stay strong

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  2. Thinking of you everyday. Thank you for your vulnerability and for your sense of humor. You are so much stronger than you realize. MM

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  3. You are incredible and beautiful inside and out, with or without hair. You got this Bethany. And we’ve all got your back. So thrilled you had a fun and joyful Christmas even amidst your fear and sadness.

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  4. I like you’re think you’re my eternal Christmas. Your friendship is the gift that keeps on giving! Saying an extra special Christmas prayer for you and the entire “Conart” crew. I sure know Hallie’s heart is so full this Christmas!

    Almost Half way there Beefy!

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  5. I’m so sorry about the hair. You’re right, it’s such a tangible and real part of the process. It just flat out stinks. But, it sounds like God is giving you the bursts of happiness that you need in between the harder times. So glad you had the special time with family. Continuing to pray, pray, pray! You’re on my heart.

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