This round has sent me right back to my newborn days: sleep, hydrate (water, don’t worry), late night wake ups (for meds), eat, sleep. No tears or diaper changes though, you are welcome squad! 😂
But hey! Here we are, 2 days down of round 2. I had more great company today from my squad, my Pops and my baby brother J. I posted this already but once I got all hooked up this morning, my Pops surprised me with a shaved head! I feel like we look a lot alike in that picture! What a sweet gesture. I could make the same joke I made as Kevin, the sacrifice mayyyy not have been as great as my head of hair but it’s not about that!! 😂 It’s that one more person has made me realize it’s just hair, truly. I grew up playing basketball for my Dad and he was the person who taught me all about confidence and how you can’t let anyone of anything shatter your confidence but only YOU can control that, no matter how hard it is. That life lesson carried me through a lot of things in life but it’s clear to me what he unknowingly was really preparing me for, the battle for my life! Thanks for making this all a little bit easier Pops!
For as wiped as I am today, I’m feeling really hopeful. We are one day away from being done with round two. I have FIVE external radiations left!! And then three internal. I had a great doctors appointment yesterday- I learned my radiation oncologist has actually teamed up with the doctor from Anderson MD in Texas who is the leader in treating sccc. He is sending a researcher down there for a study. It makes me feel so confident that I’m in the right hands. We are truly in the right hands!
Those of you that know me personally know I’ve always been a motherly, worrier type. I’m the one to plan, think through potential obstacles and do my best to outplan anything bad from happening. And thennn I got cancer and I’d like to think God had a laugh or two. Not at me, but at the situation. Trying as a human to outplan anything bad from happening, ha! I’ve had many really hard moments of what ifs. And I know I will have more, I am human after all. But I’m challenging myself to make my faith bigger than my fear. I could sit and stew in anger, and again I will have those moments probably a lot, but the challenge is to get myself out of those dark moments by 110% trusting that this really is all happening for a reason. Cancer takes too much in and of itself. Faith > Fear & so much hope as a result! You all have official permission to keep me accountable!
Cheers to a round complete tomorrow. Do my best to update in the coming days (or perhaps a guest blogger, Kevin killing it with the puns last night 😂).
Keep us in your thoughts & prayers over the next few days. We played with my meds this time around, I didn’t deal well with the steroid last time. Thanks to my friend Melissa’s advice, got that switched. Pray that I handle this to the best of my ability and that my body keeps us out of the docs office! We do have fluids scheduled for Friday & Saturday as Kevin mentioned. Yeah it’s an extra day at the hospital but hopefully it pays off with how lousy I felt last time. In other words, to the looney bin we go & we will take all the thoughts and prayers we can get for as smooth of a ride as possible!