I’m Alive!

Officially officially halfway there. Got my butt kicked again, but up until yesterday I think I did better than round one. The big win was the change with the steroid — I wasn’t agitated with sleep at all, so that was huge. I slept a ton this weekend. I also learned a show to binge watch is clutch – we picked Season 2 of Homeland. It sucks you in so much you kind of forget how crappy you feel! I was feeling quite proud of how I championed round 2 ….until yesterday. I had radiation & my usual appointment – I reported feeling “foggy” but thought I had turned the corner. Tricks by the body. By the time I got home around 10am, I started feeling pretty sick and ended up breaking my puke-free-chemo-streak yesterday afternoon. Fail. I was in bed from 10am through the night. Low moment!!

But. Here I am. I’m alive. I’m rebounding. Just got word that my counts look ok for the week so you can’t beat me chemo & radiation!!

2 more rounds, 2 more rounds. 6 weeks. So many ways to look at it but I’m desperately looking forward.

Here are a couple of exciting updates though…

  • Work! I spent my day on back to back to back to back (you get the picture) google hangouts with my work peeps. It. Was. Amazing. I am desperately craving normalcy. I’m so tired of hospitals and doctors and cancer. My life has become a box of those three things and it’s not a good thing!! My brain is dying to be used in a productive way again. I am anxious to start to feel like “Beef” again, not “Bethany Hart, 7/3/86” (my identity at the hospital).  I work with the most incredible, positive, fun & uplifting humans in the world so it brought me so much joy today to jump into the Yelp world again. Safe to say I’m quite exhausted right now but a really good exhausted. I pray my body cooperates over the next six weeks to allow me to work as much as I can so that I can start to get that normalcy back.
  • Last day of external radiation tomorrow!! I did it! 25 rounds over 5.5 weeks. 25 rounds of my insides getting the living daylights zapped out of them. Radiation isn’t a painful procedure each day but boy has it wreaked havoc on this body of mine. At the risk of bragging, I will share that when my chemo nurses hear I’m going through radiation too and they tell me how hard that really is to endure simultaneously & then tell me I should be proud of myself, I am! Tomorrow will be a big, big milestone and it’s worth celebrating.

Internal radiation starts Friday. It’s a long appointment unfortunately as it’s all the planning (CT scan & xrays) and then the actual treatment. I will have 2 more treatments on Tuesday and Wednesday of next week. As of noon on next Wednesday, I will be completely done with radiation! Completely done with daily hospital visits. Yes!! That’s a huge win for me mentally. While I appreciate the early morning, get it out of the way approach, it’s defeating to start your mindset every day at the hospital. You haven’t even had coffee yet and your brain is thinking what if this, what if that. I think it’ll be just the boost I need to carry me through the last stretch of chemo.

That’s all for today. Thank you again for all the support last week/weekend. We are slowly getting ourselves to that first NED scan!












2 thoughts on “I’m Alive!

  1. Thanks for the update, Bethany. Continuing to pray for your strength and your amazing positive attitude! Keep it up, girl!!! 🙂


  2. Praying you sleep well tonight and you continue being as amazing as you are through the last day… Next Wednesday and then you can begin to dream of your “normal” life again! You inspire others! God Bless you and each of your team and loved ones!


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