A Bummer of a Setback 

Sadly I’m writing today from the ever beautiful 6th floor of my weekend all inclusive staycation at Loyola Hospital. On such a beautiful fake spring day in January, it is such a bummer. 

This week I was feeling a lot more sluggish than the usual chemo/radiation hangover. I’ve had a headache for a few days. Yesterday morning my legs started to feel weird & as the day progressed my body was more and more achey. I laid down around 4 in a winter hat, sweatshirt & sweatpants, under a down comforter and quilt and still couldn’t stop shivering. I took my temperature and it read anywhere from 100-101.4. Eeeeek.

Dr. Potkul & Kathleen had me come to the lab first to draw for updated numbers. My white blood count on Tuesday was 1.2 which is lowww. Bless their hearts as my body decides to do this on a Friday evening! Unfortunately my count came back even lower, .9, which makes me ‘neutrapenic’ and automatically lands me in the hospital, likely through the weekend. 

They’ve tested me for any and every type of infection – including blood cultures from both arms & my port. I’m still waiting on results but Dr. Potkul said they will likely all come back negative & this is really a result of the treatments. He was explaining again how rough of regiment the combo of chemo & radiation I’m going through is and that this happening didn’t totally surprise him.

They’ve been pumping me with antibiotics since last night. I had an reaction to one – I could not stop itching and I was so red where I was itching. They put Benadryl into my port and whoa baby, I felt like I was floating. Deep space nine floating! It worked really quickly thankfully. They also started me on a medicine to help bring my count up. 

Hoping to see the doc soon and learn more about what it takes to get home. From what I gather, it’s going to take time. White blood cells are what fight infections so I know I can’t leave until they are higher. 

How’s my morale? I’m doing my best to stay positive but it’s hard today. Physically, it sucks feeling so crappy. Mentally? Pretty freaking frustrated. I really am glad we did radiation and chemo together, truly, but the setbacks have been hard. There are worse things in life than having to spend a few nights in the hospital and I’m glad I’m here so I can start to feel better but this also likely means that chemo will be delayed again and that’s a soul crusher. Emotionally I could use a couple breaks in my favor!  

Keep us in your thoughts and prayers. I could sure use them today. Thank you!! 

Beef

8 thoughts on “A Bummer of a Setback 

  1. Ugh, there aren’t enough frustrated words for being neutrapenic. I’m so terribly sorry. I know how soul crushing it is when not only do you have to stay in the hospital, but you also get your hard work and plans pushed back. I don’t have any of the right things to say, only that that means that medicine is kicking butt inside your body. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, even though it’s so hard to see sometimes. Are you feeling good enough to play games? Cards, dominoes and binge watching help pass the time, but I know it’s not easy. I hope this is the only time for you and you get back to your schedule soon. Your body is so strong. Remember that.

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  2. You are in my prayers daily. I can’t imagine how very, very difficult it is for you. You are in such a vulnerable position and the setbacks seem overwhelming. Yet, you keep coming back with your positive attitude psyching yourself and the rest of us up for the next challenge! I see no end to your amazing strength. That and the zillions of prayers from all those who love and support you will carry you through this next one! xoxo

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  3. Praying for your perseverance, strength and the ability to stay positive through these setbacks that didn’t surprise your Dr. Cancer sucks so bad and praying you find an unexpected treasure in your time this weekend at Loyola.

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  4. We love you Bethany and are praying for you every step of the way! Winnie the Pooh said it best when he said “You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter thank you think”… and you my friend are pretty damn strong so trust that you are just getting a little extra cushion of rest, antibiotics, and Netflix! We love bdawg!!

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