Day one, round four, done!
What a beautiful day outside. The forecast this week is incredible. Knocking on wood that this won’t mean snow in April! But seriously, the sunshine does incredible things. After chemo, we got a great walk in around the neighborhood. That’s a first for me, on a chemo day & a long chemo day, no less! It’s supposed to be in the 60’s this weekend. I’m curious how much the weather will help me in rebounding. Seems silly to say but the ability to walk a little further if the body allows + sunshine HAS to have some sort of impact on you mentally at the very least, if not physically too.
Happy Valentine’s Day!! Call the day cheesy and I’m ok with that, I love cheesy. Any excuse to decorate the home for a holiday! Kevin sent me beautiful flowers yesterday. I am totally a flower girl, you can’t not be happy when you get flowers. I also wore my “Valentine’s Day” pants today – pink & purpleish leggings. For those of you who watch HGTV, you’ve seen the Fixer Upper commercial 1,000 times where Chip says, “Step in here Hot Pants,” — well you can imagine Kevin’s joy when he realized he could say that to me with real meaning today. Such a clown. I’ll forever be thankful for that demeanor of his & that he is my Valentine. It has sure helped me through so much of this.
We made the most of our chemo Valentine’s Day. We introduced my Mom to Dominoes and yes, we finally found a game she can’t cheat at. She claims we give her a bad rep but play any game with her (Uno especially) & add in the competitive Conrad edge, and you literally have to keep your eyes on her at all times. Unfortunately, Dominoes turned out to be a game she’s good at and since she can’t cheat, we had to listen to a lotttt of gloating (back to that Conrad competitive edge). I’ve learned through this that my mom & my husband together are like the odd couple – bickering, making fun of each other, calling each other out. I’m pretty sure I was the third wheel a few times today. At one point, our nurses looked over because of the noise they were making! It’s quite funny. I’m not sure any nurse has seen a chemo crew able to have so much fun in these kind of circumstances but there we were all day, playing Dominoes & rocking out to country music. Only thing missing was some wine, shoooot!
Mentally I’m feeling strong for the week. Physically feeling pretty tired. I’m praying big time that I’m not nauseous this time around. I wasn’t at all round 1 or 2, but round 3 was awful. Dr. Potkul said nausea isn’t a cumulative side effect like exhaustion is, so he said there was a real chance I could’ve had a bug last round causing the sickness. Lets hope!! I’ll take all the prayers & positive thoughts I can get from you guys on that.
I had two especially encouraging moments today that really helped me mentally.
One: Every round I get a calendar print out of my schedule for the month. This is the LAST time I’ll get such a calendar because next round I’ll be DONE! It’s like I’m starting to see that glimmer of hope that there really is a finish line to this cancer nightmare. A forever finish line! If you say it out loud, it has to happen! #beefsrules
Two: My friend Hilary is in NY with her Mama this week and they visited the WTC memorial today. She took this picture while visiting the fountains that are the footprints of the towers. When she looked at it after, she noticed the rainbow and thought of me. Call me (us, but perhaps that’s why we are besties!) cheesy, but this picture was meant to be. It is the ultimate reminder of the perspective we all need. Hilary said it best, it’s proof that even from the darkest of times, beautiful things can come of it. Will come of it. You saw it in 2001 when our country rallied together after 9/11 and we were stronger than ever, united. If beautiful can come from that, beautiful can come from this. It might be an incredibly twisted beautiful, but beautiful nevertheless. We hold fast to our faith in that, to survive.
As always, thanks for all the encouragement via text this morning. You guys take such great care of me and it means so much. Even more on Valentine’s Day!
Lots of Valentine Love,